visit tracker on tumblr

A conversation with my brother

Brother: If you and a good looking guy was the last two people on the planet and it’s up to you to repopulate, would you do it?

Me: -Silent-

Brother: Geez, Tasha. Are you that gay?

Apparently to my brother, talking about a girl I like is considered sexual because of my sexual orientation but him talking about a guy who can’t control his jizzes isn’t because it’s news.

my brother got mad at me and said, “For a girl with a vajay-jay, you’re a fat dick.” 

  • Mom: Dolly, when you have free time paint my nails.
  • Me: Ok
  • Dad: Paint mine too.
  • Mom: Did you get laid last night?
  • Pastor Mariano: What laid?
  • Mom: What kind of meat is this?
  • Me: Beef
  • Mom: Taste like human meat
  • Me: How would you know what human meat taste like?
  • Mom: I used to eat you ;)

I told my brother about my recent discovery of my trust issues and he said, “That means your trust is valuable.”

  • -Mom looking at my books on my desk-
  • Me: what are you looking at
  • Mom: I'm looking at what you're reading. Junk. Junk junk junks.
  • Brother: Set up a sleeping schedule so we know when not to bother you.
  • Me: How about you don't bother me at all