Damn it Deep Silver
WHY YOU GOTTA MAKE THE DEAD ISLAND TRAILERS SO FUCKING SAD
D’:
I accidently saved over my brothers file on Fallout New Vegas and I started freaking out.
I went outside to tell him while he was on his run and I started to cry and he just stood there and laughed & when I told him what happened he just said it was ok and that it wasn’t a big deal
But still I feel like shit. Ughh
To whom it may concern:
My name is Natasha. Those that know me in real life know that I’m a very shy, kind loving person. I can be a good friend to those who need it. But most people don’t see past the shyness of my self being and see who I really am. Who that is, I’m still trying to figure out still.
But what I do know is that I’m broken. Like other people, I try to hide that I am. Fake a smile. Tell people I’m ok when I’m really not.
What I really an is tired. Tired if hoping for a better tomorrow. Hoping for a greater future. Hoping the pain stops. Hoping that I’m not really insane.
All my life, I’ve been trying really hard to fit in somewhere. But i never do. With my friends, with my family. Nowhere. Wherever I am, I am alone. I get so lonely sometimes that I talk to the voice in my head like it’s an actual person in front of me.
No one wants me around. I do something wrong and everyone attacks me. I am weak. Too weak for this world. Too weak for this lifetime. I’ve become distant with everybody. So me disappearing forever wouldn’t bring anyone pain. It wouldn’t upset anyone. It’s be like I was never there. Who’s to say that I’ve made if not any impact on someones life. Let alone bring happiness to it.
Death is a promise. A happy ending promise.
If i date a girl with scars on her arm
I would kiss each & every one of those scars and tell her she’s beautiful
because I know the feel of the blade against your skin, the burns you get while in the shower and having to wear a sweater to hide your cuts so others won’t judge you.
Believe me, I understand.
If i were to slip away, i doubt anyone would notice.
Anyone who has seen I Remember You, check this comic out.
Adventure Time: I Remember You
Funny thought came into mind today.
I’m planning a trip to Kansas in spring next year.
& I thought about how hard would it be to not see my special love for a week or so.
Then I’m thinking, “I won’t have a special one when I leave for Kansas. I’m alone now & I’ll be alone then.”
Funny.
To whoever fucking cares about me:
don’t be surprise to find new cuts on my arms
From me
Is it them or is it me?
I feel like ranting for a bit. Because I’m borderline hurt & angry.
For starters, I don’t have friends. (Not really)
I do have people I consider friends. And of course there’s my best friend. But even though I have these people in my life, I’m still alone.
I rarely go out & hang out with my friends. But on average of when I do go out is between once in every 2 weeks or once every month.
I don’t have a car (I share with my family which is our only car), I don’t have a job & I’m dead broke.
No one ever texts me asking me to hang out or go out. Hell, nobody texts me just to talk to me.
I feel like every time I’m bored & I text one of my friends their thinking, “Oh. Tasha’s bored and is probably wanting to hang out. Better ignore her.”
I kind you FUCKING not. This happened a few times. Not once, A FEW. It’ll be a friday night or a saturday night (like it is now) and my brother went out to see his friends and I’m stuck at home. I’ll text like 50 people asking them what their doing tonight or that I wanna hang out with them. NO ONE fucking answers me. Not even to say hi or have a conversation. That’s when I hit rock bottom depression. Because I feel like it’s me.
Like they don’t want to be around me because there’s something wrong with me. Or that I don’t have job therefore I don’t have money to spend if we were to go places.
The worst part is, I find out later that those people I texted to hang out went out with other people I know. And of course, no invite.
