Is it them or is it me?
I feel like ranting for a bit. Because I’m borderline hurt & angry.
For starters, I don’t have friends. (Not really)
I do have people I consider friends. And of course there’s my best friend. But even though I have these people in my life, I’m still alone.
I rarely go out & hang out with my friends. But on average of when I do go out is between once in every 2 weeks or once every month.
I don’t have a car (I share with my family which is our only car), I don’t have a job & I’m dead broke.
No one ever texts me asking me to hang out or go out. Hell, nobody texts me just to talk to me.
I feel like every time I’m bored & I text one of my friends their thinking, “Oh. Tasha’s bored and is probably wanting to hang out. Better ignore her.”
I kind you FUCKING not. This happened a few times. Not once, A FEW. It’ll be a friday night or a saturday night (like it is now) and my brother went out to see his friends and I’m stuck at home. I’ll text like 50 people asking them what their doing tonight or that I wanna hang out with them. NO ONE fucking answers me. Not even to say hi or have a conversation. That’s when I hit rock bottom depression. Because I feel like it’s me.
Like they don’t want to be around me because there’s something wrong with me. Or that I don’t have job therefore I don’t have money to spend if we were to go places.
The worst part is, I find out later that those people I texted to hang out went out with other people I know. And of course, no invite.