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  • Mom: What kind of meat is this?
  • Me: Beef
  • Mom: Taste like human meat
  • Me: How would you know what human meat taste like?
  • Mom: I used to eat you ;)

I can see myself tripping trying to kiss you

I just remembered a time where my cousin and I went to Old Navy and some random guy came up to us and asked us if we wanted to buy some cereal from him

Ehhhhhh one of my tenants said I was hot

This happened to me today

  • -Leaving Walmart-
  • Some random girl: Hey
  • Me: Hey
  • Girl: You look awesome enough to save the rain forest. Would you like to help?
  • Me: Maybe tomorrow
  • Girl: Alright

There’s a stranger currently living in my home

i honestly don’t know how i should feel about this

(Source: natashiyaa)

I had a crazyyy dream last night.

I dreamt me & this girl was smoking weed 

& we got really high and I got really handsy with her which she liked

omg

(Source: natashiyaa)